The Temple of Dysonism

Nobody said it was easy, no-one ever said it would be this hard

I’m in a writing mood again! It’s been slowly building up over the past couple of days and as I hit my Tumblr bookmark I realized I wanted to write something. My mind is completely full of all sorts of things to write about but alas - a lot of them are about the people that read this blog. It’d seem incredibly passive to talk about such things openly on here and not expect it to have ramifications. I suppose this is the issue with having people you know read your musings, it ends up restricting what you can say.

I mean a few years ago when only my close friends (we’re talking two or three here) read my blog I could write about whatever I wanted - be it work, college, university, family, my personal life, friendships, relationships or completely inane chatter - and have very few worries about it as it used to be mostly private. But it becomes hard to maintain that freedom once you start to worry about what might happen if you write a certain thing online, there could be unknown ramifications. Frustratingly it works the other way as well, in that if you don’t have anyone reading your blog you feel as if there is no point in writing as there will be nobody to read it. The ideal solution would be to have a group of completely random, anonymous people following you and follow a selection of completely random people to maintain creative freedom, but then it doesn’t feel like there’s as much of a point either, I suppose.

Anyway, writer’s frustrations out of the way, hi again. In case you can’t remember who I am (and I wouldn’t be surprised given how often I update), I’m Speller. I am a Senior Sales Assistant in a Game store in the UK, a massive, massive gaming fan (Xbox 360 and Steam mostly. Represent!) and I currently live in Aldershot, which is just under an hour away from London on the train. Though this may soon all be changing if things go to plan in the coming weeks (except the gaming part, I totally love gaming).

There is a job opening for a Deputy Manager in the Surrey Quays GAME store which I plan on applying for, for several reasons. Point one, it’s natural progression. Moving up from Senior Sales to Deputy Manager is the next step in the ladder at GAME and I intend to climb it.
“Okay,” you may be thinking. “But why Surrey Quays? That’s London! You can’t commute that!”
Which brings me on to point number two: It’s 10 minutes away from Shoreditch. Which just so happens to be where my girlfriend (Rocker94) currently resides. Which means that moving is very possible all of a sudden, and therefore means taking a big step in almost every single direction all in one go. Obviously, it’s all ifs and buts as I need all sorts of clearances and permissions to apply for the job but I can’t help but wonder if I might be overdoing it a little bit by making so many big decisions in one go - assuming it all goes ahead of course. I just feel like I need to start making big steps in my life so I don’t get stuck in a rut.

It’s strange.. I’m 22 in under two weeks. That’s the start of truly growing in to adulthood I think. No more landmark birthdays, the next number starts sounding older. I’ll be mid-twenties before too long, and I’ll stop getting ID’d, and I’ll start getting shocked at how I can have coherent conversations with people who were born an entire decade after me. That really is weird. And it’s this feeling of “It’s growing up time!” that’s sort of kicked me in to gear a little bit and got me moving forward. When I saw the job opportunity pop up on the GAME intranet I instantly started thinking about it, and it fits quite nicely. But I should stop talking about it; for before too long I’ll find out I can’t apply for the job because I’m too inexperienced or something equally disappointing. Let’s hope this is not the case.

In other news, I’ve been seeing a lot more of some old friends recently and it’s been fantastic getting back in touch with them. I had an amazing night about a month ago in which I saw at least 8 people whom I hadn’t seen for half a year (some even more) and met a few more faces and had an incredible night with. I want to do that sort of thing more often but it’s really hard finding the time to split between the all-consuming work, being at home, seeing family, friends, Lucy and of course alone time, so that night was a total breath of fresh air. I hope to do something like that again soon - perhaps for my birthday?

Finally, I’ve been listening to lots of new music recently and getting in to a whole new selection of bands and albums that I had previously dismissed as ‘not being my thing’. After a poor show at Reading Festival 2009, I had written Deftones off as a completely overrated and overhyped band not worthy of my time, and tidbits I had heard since then had not done anything to change my mind. But having recently acquired Saturday Night Wrist as my friend Rory recommended I listen to, I found myself listening to the fifth track off of the album, ‘Mein’, and loving it. I listened to that track several times in a row. I then went on to listen to the whole thing through and suddenly it clicked, and I discovered what everyone else was talking about. To be fair, I do need to check more of it out and I have Diamond Eyes to look forward to next.

I’ve also been appreciating Nero’s debut album and listening to quite a few tracks repeatedly over the past few days, as well as Chase and Status’ No More Idols. The fact that a lot of the tracks get played at GAME every day probably helps break the tracks in so to speak, but the simple way they want me to listen to them again in my own time shows you they’re doing something right. Having just grabbed another 3GB of music from the internet I’m looking forward to checking out albums from The Bluetones, And So I Watch You From Afar, Dillinger Escape Plan (yeah, really, *head explodes*), Adebisi Shank and loads more. It’s a good time to be getting in to new music as it’s so easy to find and listen to and discover things you didn’t realize you’d like, but also very easy to slip in to the trap of finding something new and playing it a little too much. The same thing happened with Coldplay a couple of months ago and I went on a total Coldplay binge, getting their discography and listening to 15 or so songs constantly for a few weeks. As a result, a couple of the songs that used to send a shiver down my spine (Talk, Charlie Brown, God Put A Smile Upon Your Face for example) have been played to the extent that they don’t have that effect any more, which is a shame. The Scientist, however, remains one of my favourite songs of all time and I intend to keep it that way.

Anyway.. it’s just hit midnight and I need to sleep, for tomorrow at work we have some of the biggest names in the company coming to visit the store and I should rest up for the work load that’ll face us in the morning. Hurrah!

Promise me you’ll come back soon, my lovelies. And I’ll try and have something new for you next time. Thanks for reading, once again.