The Temple of Dysonism

The Future’s Not What It Used To Be

Photographs.

I was just talking to Lucy on the great wide internet, sorta bumming around on Facebook and the like when I glanced over at my photo section and realised I’m quite upset by the lack of photographs I have in recent times - both of myself, my friends, and the world. And it got me thinking. And talking. And writing.

I’ve always loved looking at photographs, I think. I mean I’ve never been actively enthusiastic of them as such.. but in the past few years with the rise of things like Facebook and Twitpic where everything is instantly shared and viewed over the internet in an instant, I’ve been subject to a lot more photographs of other people. And seeing these has made me realise that I don’t have many at all.

Back in the days of college people used to take a camera to all the social gatherings, and even in day to day life there would be photos to take and share. It’s a moment that can be captured instantly and shared with anyone to relive the experience. It’s something a little bit magical.

I suppose the argument would be that we’re growing up, so we don’t have time to take photo’s. Or even think about it. But remember the feeling when you used to grab a bunch of friends, pull a stupid face and have a photo taken - even if you “hated it”? There was always something to look at afterwards.

What I’m worried about is not having anything to look back on, or share with people. I go through what few photos I do have - Reading Festival, University, a handful of photos from work - and I’m instantly remembered the time it was taken, regardless of how long ago it was. I don’t want to look back and have this massive gap!

So to my friends, family, myself and whoever reads this thing. Take more photographs. Share them online. Print them out. Look at them. Don’t be afraid of having your photo taken. Enjoy it. Because you don’t want to be left in a situation where you go to look back at what you’ve done and you can’t see how you’ve grown, or changed, or what you got up to, or what the world looked like.

And please. Tag me in ‘em. Blurry or sharp. Under or overexposed. Wonky or framed. You know I wanna see ‘em all.

Urban Legend: 1994’s Most Bizarre Suicide.

completelybackasswards:

At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, AAFS, President Dr. Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story:

On March 24,1994 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. Mr. Opus had jumped from the top of a ten story building intending to commit suicide. He left a note to that effect, indicating his despondency. As he fell past the ninth floor his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window which killed him instantly.

Neither the shooter nor the descender was aware that a safety net had been installed just below at the eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.

“Ordinarily,” Dr. Mills continued, “a person who sets out to commit suicide and ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended, is still defined as committing suicide.”

That Mr. Opus was shot on the way to certain death, but probably would not have been successful because of the safety net, caused the medical examiner to feel that he had a homicide on his hands. The room on the ninth floor, whence the shotgun blast emanated, was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously and he was threatening her with a shotgun. The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window, striking Mr. Opus.

When one intends to kill subject A but kills subject B in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject B. When confronted with the murder charge the old man and his wife were both adamant. They both said they thought the shotgun was unloaded. Thed old man said it was his long-standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her. Therefore the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident; that is, the gun had been accidentally loaded.

The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple’s son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal accident. It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son’s financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother. The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.

Now comes the exquisite twist. Further investigation revealed that the son was, in fact, Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother’s murder. This led him to jump off the ten story building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth story window. The son had actually murdered himself so the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.

What an incredible story!

(Source: snopes.com)

Nintendocore

On Wednesday the 20^th of July I went to London to play Nintendo’s biggest upcoming games. Here are my views on the games I played. Apologies for the blurry photos..

Ok, wow. If you have a 3DS, you guys will all be buying Super Mario 3DS when it comes out. The game is incredible. In each level you have to get from start to finish whilst collecting coins in typical classic Mario fashion, but the game is in 3D, Mario 64 style. Think New Super Mario Bros style gameplay, but in the 3^rd dimension. I was really impressed by the subtle 3D on the game, too, making it a lot easier to judge distance. One problem I had was Mario feeling a bit slippery at times, and grabbing the flagpole was a particularly tricky feat, but I got there in the end. I loved it.

Unfortunately Luigi’s Mansion 2 was a huge let down and almost unplayable as it seemed to run at 15 frames per second, with clunky controls to boot. The demo we played didn’t really give us much direction or hints as to what to do and as such the game fell flat on its face. Total disappointment. Unless there is a lot of work being done on this game between now and release, I worry that this simply won’t perform well enough to achieve solid sales.

Mario Kart 3DS was brilliant, with your Karts turning in to gliders as you take off from a large jump, and this allows for some really cool timesaving shortcuts if you manage to make it - but potentially turn in to pitfalls if you mess them up. The customization looks to shake up the way Mario Kart is played, with the player being able to choose from different Kart types, wheels and accessories before the race begins. It felt more like Diddy Kong Racing, which for me is a great thing. I also didn’t see any blue shells, so either I got very lucky and didn’t get any sent my way or my prayers have been answered and they’re making it a bit more skill based! :D

Kid Icarus looks to be a great game. You control the movement of Pit with the Circle Pad and aim/fire with the touch screen, which is an interesting control method but is fatally flawed in one area: it’s not suitable for left handers like myself. You use the circle pad and the stylus at the same time meaning you’re forced to use the stylus with the right hand, or use your thumb.. but when you’re trying to aim with precision this becomes very difficult. I asked the attendant and he said that there wasn’t currently a left handed mode implemented, and unless they consider it, it’s just going to be a completely awkward and not fun experience for us lefties (which is a shame because the parts I did struggle through were brilliant, the on-rails flying sequences felt like Starfox and felt a lot more solid than the on foot sections, which were still fun despite grappling with frustrating righty only controls.)

Resident Evil: Revelations was extremely impressive, providing probably the best visuals I’ve seen on the 3DS so far. The controls felt great and the atmosphere was well constructed, still making me want to turn my character around and run away when a zombie comes running towards me. This looks like it’ll be a success and something to look forward to for any Resident Evil fans as they look to have kept things like ammo conservation and weapon choice key choices for the player. I wish I’d spent a bit more time with this game but it was the first one I got to and my mind was telling me to hurry it up so as not to miss out on Skyward Sword and Super Mario!

Starfox 64 3D was brilliant. I really enjoyed it, it’s been my most anticipated game on the 3DS since I heard of its unveiling and it did not disappoint. The circle pad and the gyro sensors work in unison to bring fantastic precise shooting which builds tenfold on the old analogue stick from the Nintendo 64. The 3D effect was great, similar to Pilotwings, and really added an extra layer of immersion to the game. At times I thought the enemies bullets were going to come out of the screen and hit me, which was impressive. This should sell well to anyone looking for a great, accessible game on the system.

Probably the most surprising game appearance at the event was that of Sonic Generations 3DS, which featured Classic Sonic gameplay, Modern Sonic gameplay and a boss fight which I didn’t do. To my surprise I actually preferred the Modern Sonic level to that of the Classic Sonic - Modern Sonic felt a lot like Sonic Rush gameplay, with a building boost bar and homing attacks and a great sense of speed that built up as you went along, but for some reason Classic Sonic felt – like Mario - a little bit slippery. I’m starting to think I don’t get on with the Circle Pad on the 3DS. The 3D wasn’t as effective as it could have been, but the gameplay and level design felt solid and will be a great platformer for 3DS owners.

And then there was Metal Gear Solid 3D, which suffered from a few frame rate issues and a case of far too many loading screens, but the gameplay felt identical to that in the PS2 version, albeit with slightly fiddlier controls. Despite the great 3D, it wasn’t quite as impressive as I was hoping due to the awkward controls, and I was left slightly disappointed by the game. I have a feeling it’s the sort of game that doesn’t lend itself well to a demo environment, you need to spend some time getting used to the controls in your own time. This said, it is Metal Gear Solid 3 which almost sells itself.

On the Wii side of things, the moment I saw the Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword demo area I ran over to find a demo unit free and instantly jumped in. The first demo was a flying section that demonstrated the power of Motion Plus – requiring you to aim the remote in the way you wanted to fly whilst also flapping to gain speed. It was a fun little minigame, but nothing too special. The second area was more like it – classic Zelda gameplay in taking on a Dungeon. This is where the real meat of the game lies.

You use the Wii Remote to unsheathe and swing your sword – and with Motion Plus it comes alive as the directions of your Remote swinging directly corresponds to where Link swings the sword in game. This made for an interesting fight against an enemy in which he would defend high, so I’d attack low. You can swing, stab, uppercut, and if you raise the nunchuck you pull your shield up. It felt natural and fluid and ultimately – fun. The graphical style of the game is amazing, falling half way between cel-shaded (Wind Waker) and the gritty style portrayed in Twilight Princess. It gives the game a really unique feel, and you can tell the game is a labor of love for Nintendo. Zelda fans are going to absolutely love it. I certainly did – the dungeon even had me stumped for a short while so the challenge is most definitely there!

Just Dance 3 was a surprisingly great experience, as me and Mike from Camberley battled it out to Party Rock by LMFAO. The controls felt like they worked and despite only using the Wii Remote (not Motion Plus enabled) felt solid. Simply put, fans of Just Dance will love Just Dance 3. And I’m most definitely pleased to report that I beat Mike.

Mario and Sonic at the London Olympics was another game that Mike and I played against each other in 5 events (and which I won 3-2 – representing Guildford!) and the game was fun, if not a little outdated. Relying on simple controls, things like horse-riding and canoeing are mini-games that take about 2 minutes to complete, and are great fun when played competitively, but it doesn’t bring anything new to the Wii. Again, I expect this game to sell well to people who have played the Mario and Sonic games but also those who have yet to try it since it’s based in London, which gives it a nice local feel.

Last but by no means least, my absolute favorite game of the event, Kirby Wii. I cannot stress enough how much I loved this game. Anyone who’s played the old-school Kirby games from the SNES days will know how addictive the gameplay is - using the copy ability to steal the power of enemies and using said power to solve puzzles, find hidden objects and levels and bonus areas. There hasn’t been anything that’s come close to this sort of fun since then (although Epic Yarn was a fantastic game, it wasn’t classic Kirby) until now.

The game has been given a makeover to 2.5D for the Wii, meaning it is brought kicking and screaming right in to the modern day, but retaining the feel of the old games. As Kirby, you have to get to the end of the level by sucking in enemies and taking their power. This’ll allow you to perform a multitude of new moves, some of which can be used to open certain doors or kill certain enemies that block your way. The game is quite challenging for a platformer, but not overly so. I lost a couple of lives through the course of the 2 level demo but neither of which felt cheap or lame.

The next thing I knew, I was joined by 3 other players as I was playing the level – the game has 4-player drop in/out co-op. Whilst the co-op partners don’t enjoy the copy ability of Kirby and definitely play a secondary role (Kirby is the only one with a life counter, and the only one who can choose which door to take for example.) to the pink puffball, the guys that joined me for the gameplay demo had a blast. You can pick each other up, inhale them and use them as weapons, ride on their backs and all sorts. It was just gaming bliss and the best game experience I’ve had on the Wii. If I didn’t already have a Wii, I’d buy one for this game. I cannot emphasize how much fun it was.

All in all, it was a great day. The staff were friendly and the games were great fun, with all of the attendees walking away with a lot of new experiences to share. And the fact that our Guildford store beat Camberley in both the multiplayer games we played just adds that extra edge to it all. Mike won’t be forgetting about that any time soon.

Babies tasting lemons for the first time

Incredible.

(Source: dream-fuze)

Me And All My Friends Are Poets Of The Deed

My “Oh God No They’re Listening To Enter Shikari” face.

(I don’t think it’s possible to be any more unattractive)

Here we are again, Tumblr. You tell yourself you’re going to go to sleep two hours ago and you don’t do it, and thus you decide in your infinite wisdom that writing a blog post at 2am in the morning is a good thing. But I don’t think I’ve got that one wrong in the years I’ve been writing here, as we generally know, the best inspiration comes at night when it’s too damn late to do anything.

It’s a pleasure to see you again, though, regardless of the time of day. I could do with an empty space to scribble down some notes on nothing in particular. So let’s get cracking!

It’s been a good few weeks recently. I’ve been bridging and rekindling old friendships and have started to be more social once more. For a few months I wasn’t really doing much besides going to work and keeping tight with my colleagues, though I believe this is mostly down to the fact that my student friends (or I suppose I should call them ex-students - congratulations to everyone on completing their degrees!) were knuckling down and tackling the toughest part of Uni, the third year. Man, if I struggled with the opening months of University I can only imagine the sort of breakdown I’d have had if I stuck it out. Not for me. No siree.

Right now I have more important things to be worrying about. I have three days left working with my colleagues and good friends at the GAME store I work at in Camberley before I start a two week trial at the Guildford branch as a Senior Sales. There’s a very small pay increase and it’s a 40 hour contract rather than a 20 so ultimately I’ll be moving up the ladder in that regard. I just wish I could’ve taken the job in my current store, but sometimes you have to make sacrifices in order to progress. I’m sure I’ll keep in touch with the guys at my current store through social networking, gaming, pub visits and most likely live music gigs.

Saturday just gone, me and Lucy went up to Camden to see Talking Endlessly, among others, play at the Barfly. Annoyingly we only got there in time for the last song in their set due to public transport issues (and people who wanted to take out £600 at a hole in the wall and use multiple cards, holding up a queue of 7 people behind her, and not getting it when it denied her her cash); but we got there nonetheless. The final song was one I’d heard before and enjoyed hearing live, but then again I can say the same for most live music. Talking Endlessly are certainly worth giving a listen - I’ll put a song of theirs on my blog soon.

The band that followed looked to be a disaster as they carried a huge keyboard and accordian on stage with them but were aurally very pleasing to listen to. Combining the musical nuances of bands such as TV On The Radio, Arcade Fire and The National sounds like… well, actually, reading that back it sounds like it’d be brilliant. And to be frank they did sound different, quirky, original, but not for the wrong reasons. If I could remember the band name I’d give them a shout out but it escapes me. Sorry, pretty-good-band-that-played-in-the-Barfly-last-Saturday!

I’d put something down about the last band but I’d be wasting everyone’s time and electricity. Let me just say they may well have been the worst band I’ve ever witnessed live (and I’ve seen Guns ‘n’ Roses Axl Rose’s Ego Stroking Stage Show). The singer comes on stage and just starts sort of.. bizarrely shrieking and pulsating and singing whilst wearing a blazer and flicking the microphone with his hand and strumming an acoustic guitar but oh, wait, plugged in to an amp because he’s too damn cool for school. Like a camp hipster. Do they exist? If they didn’t before they certainly do now. We left shortly after the first song finished, deciding we couldn’t take much more punishment.

Unfortunately we took plenty more punishment in the form of a shed load of alcohol. Going from the ciders in the bar to several vodka and orange’s in the fun bus home, and ending up foolishly putting away a double shot of Lemoncello (never had it before - was always curious. Wish I’d left it that way) and a double Tequila (new personal rule - NEVER Tequila.) does not equate to a very pleasant next day, especially when you have to catch a train from Woking back to Aldershot with a restricted Sunday service. And boy oh boy was the hangover awful, truly punishing me for my sins the previous night. It wasn’t content with ruining my morning, it lasted with me the whole damn day, causing me to sweat like mad and feel like I wanted to die (melodrama - though I wasn’t far off). But would I do it again? …Hell yeah!

Those are the moments we live for. It’s times like that that make the daily grind worth it. That payslip we get every couple of weeks with a little number on it telling us how much our time is worth should ultimately be put to use in the pursuit of good times. I am a firm believer in this. Live for the moments you get to spend your time and freedom, rather than worrying about the times you don’t.

Anyway, philosophical moment over. This blog has been brought to you in classic Speller style; I’ll come up with the urge to write and not know what to write about and end up on a completely bizarre tangent. Documenting my escapades wasn’t what I had planned when I started writing, nothing was. It’s just the way my mind seems to work, and the way I write. And it seems to have been that way since I started this patch of the internet back in late ‘08. Some things never change.

Oh, and because I like to share amazing things with you guys, check out my newest addition to my desk.

It’s Mr. Pilgrim! I fear I may have begun a figurine collection..